I once took a shortcut through a golf course, snoozed on the 11th green.

Just bring a bedroll with you everywhere you go. When you tire of company, start for home, but pace yourself, and camp out midway on your journey.

Why smol keyboard?

Albedo above 100%

The Irish girl in the picture is old enough to have melanoma now

Tenants take note, give your landlord a lovely gift of established ground mint when you leave your rental!

Cats saw us with dogs and were like “I could get a twofer here…”

No don’t do that, use fabric shears or a roller knife

‘The soldiers had red eyes, and they were singing and dancing. They slaughtered the priest, cut him to pieces, removed his heart and liver and cooked them. The rest of the group had to pay money or eat the human flesh to be allowed to leave. Another four men, three women and three children were killed.’ Among the dead was a pregnant woman who was gutted.

If the cannibal soldiers of the Congo don’t get you first

Glass factory

In Australia you can get a DUI equivalent for riding a bicycle while hammered.

Dementia simulator

Sometimes I worry they are being purposely dense because they want to spend more time with us.

Rust doesn’t even make the list

Yes

And she doesn’t even know it

Imagine if it’s just actually her pulling the most epic troll in Lemmy history.

You’ll find someone special for you one day 🙏

I have 50k in my hand right now.

It even has a cool picture of Ho Chi Minh on it