Novamdomum

My fellow Americans, today I must acknowledge that the tariff strategy was, in hindsight, deeply flawed. It was my idea alone, and I accept full responsibility. I offer my sincerest apologies for the harm caused and vow to take immediate steps to repair the damage. This is on me, and I am truly, deeply sorry.

—Donald J. Trump, in an alternate universe.

I wonder who he will blame when this implodes. It was Hillary! Biden! Obama! The Illuminati! The Liberal Elite! The media! My father for never hugging me as a child! Oh shit… forget I said that last one…