Relatable. I answered a phone call about work and then when I hung up I started hyperventilating and then had to put my head down for a few minutes. Rest of the day was chillin.

“Wanna see me shotgun this?”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FQDad31iu2o

I actually was in a corner store somewhere last year and “Deez Nuts” were being sold as a real brand.

Oh yeah, I definitely “forgot” it accidentally

I saw something similar on my way to work. Some pedestrian was trying to jaywalk across a busy, high speed road. A car stopped in the middle of the road to “be polite” and help them cross. What the car and pedestrian couldn’t see was that an additional car in the next lane was going very fast and did not have visibility of the pedestrian. Their view of the pedestrian was blocked by the stopped car. And the pedestrian’s view of the fast moving car was also blocked by their position at the stopped car.

The pedestrian crossed the whole way of the road, but came maybe a foot away from being hit by the fast car. I was afraid I was about to watch someone die.

Don’t stop for people at odd places in the road unless it’s an emergency. Sometimes “being polite” for someone is actually dangerous.

Edit: I will say that there is still partial fault with ALL parties involved. If you are driving the speed limit and see a car suddenly stopped ahead in the road, slow down. You don’t know why they are stopped and there might be something in the road. But both the pedestrian and the stopped car should have done things differently.

What the fuck?? How common is this because it is literally me??? I apologize so much and a lot of people don’t know what the fuck I’m apologizing for. Basically I’m apologizing for existing.

I have a good job too! I mean, every job will have its issues, even good ones (mine is mostly with my supervisor), but the unicorns do exist!

I didn’t realize that was possible

Personally, I attached a lawnmower to the front of my murder machine so I can more easily shred my victims. Would recommend.

Is that an obvious plant logo lol

Worth it

Nothing makes me happy, though!

I picked up exercising pretty consistently since last March. I had never been able to do that so consistently before.

I honestly did it because people said exercise is supposed to improve mental health.

Guess what it didn’t do?

Yup, you guessed it. I also hate it almost every single time I do it. The one time I randomly really enjoyed my exercise routine I was in a bizarrely good mood already before I even started exercising that day. I felt so good like I was on drugs or something.

Guess what it did instead?

Gave me chronic pain and fatigue that goes away if I skip my exercise routine.

Explain?

Yeah I was in a scenario some months back where people didn’t have access to electricity or gasoline for nearly a week. Some didn’t have access to drinking water. It was mildly apocalyptic. I had never seen anything like that and it was a bit stressful having to work but also not knowing if I’d eventually run out of gas before I would have access to it again. Felt like a mini-apocalypse.

Wait…what the fuck is this?? This is literally exactly how I think and I think about it all the freaking time. Is there a name for this??

There are just so many variables and ways to respond and interact that I manage to select the wrong ones all the time. In an ideal situation, I would stop and weigh the options of every single thing I do and say at any given moment in order to figure out the correct course of action. But that just isn’t feasible. And I never realize when I’m supposed to stop and think until it’s too late.

Like today, I wanted to keep my coworker informed about some case she will have to deal with in the morning. So I sent her a long text after work. But that was wrong and bad because it was bothering someone with a life at home. It was only hours later that I realized that I had an alternative. I could have handwritten out a letter on the case and stuck it where she would see instead of being invasive and bothersome and inconsiderate outside of the workplace.

I have learned some things over time, but sadly there are just an infinite number of scenarios and things and ways I’m supposed to interact and I just can’t figure them all out.

How do I become a better person and stop doing it? I find I am constantly making mistakes and bothering people. I think a solution to this would be to stop interacting with people as a whole so my presence isn’t harming anyone, but that often isn’t really feasible. Like at work I often have to interact with people to do my job for example. Occasionally I have thought about quitting to save people from me, but then I wouldn’t know how to pay my bills. And idk that I’d want to be homeless.