I’ll take what I can get.

Enough with the pretty words and speeches. Where’s the candidate who’s willing to just finally say what we’re all feeling: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

“May you live in interesting times.” -Wayne Gretzky

Aye carumba, the muffin man!!! Nyet! Nein! Non!

I usually call it “pot,” but then multiple people said I sound like an old person, so now I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. I guess I’ll start calling it “dope.”

Why would you not lead with/focus on your Funko Pop collection? Play to your strengths.

My in-laws recently took a weekend to install a small reflecting pool in their front yard. I think it turned out pretty okay for a little weekend project:

His in-laws are Frank and Debbie Cluj-Napoca Romania, so maybe hold your judgment.

I took on a second, what have I done.

If I do enough yoga, two birds, one stone.

Pronounced “lattes?”

Is his name Linus?

I’m not sure what I’m talking about, either. Just a dumb joke.

How do you know I don’t live in western and central Asia, east to the Himalaya and eastern Siberia, where we all know mint is native!?

I recorded myself and ran it through Shazam and it returned this?

Do men still open car doors?

Removes entire door from vehicle

I only buy convertibles anymore, makes it so easy.

Sorry about your massive penis.

Ideal conditions: diversity, equity, inclusion.

I live in the U.S.

Oh la la.

Don’t often get to show off my four years of French.