Check the date on that article, the joke is more layered than you thought.

Further coverage from The Onion

I accidentally discovered video of a coworker masturbating when I was reviewing security footage from the day before. He had gone to an area open to most people, in plain view of a camera and had himself a wank. I guess he forgot to not be a creep.

I reported the incident and the guy was out and gone 30 minutes later. Don’t jack it at work on the couch people eat their lunch on.

The DNC essentially handing Clinton the nomination was the height of hubris on both party’s sides. Clinton for thinking she was owed the presidency and the DNC for purporting to be the more left leaning party while actively ignoring the majority of their voters to move farther right. In the nomination process the only vote that a member of the DNC leadership gets should be their vote in their precinct, but instead they get supervotes that are weightier than the aggregate votes of entire regions.

Fuck these blue posers and their rigged game. We gotta make our own party farther left - pro union, pro taxing the rich at at least 75% on income over $500k, pro actual healthcare paid for by taxes, pro social welfare programs paid for by taxes, pro environmental reclamation and ACTUAL green tech… you know, all those things that make sense and lead to a stable, productive country.

Individual people who are Democrats can be good people. The Democratic party has been asleep at the wheel when they’re not ignoring the will of their constituents since mid-Obama and allowed us to slide into this disaster.

Tesla does direct sales. No dealerships.

No one ever had a worse day for not going to Sacramento.

No one has any theories about it because there’s no need. They’re doing everything in the light of day. You don’t sound like a nut if you say “that racist billionaire bought the US government” because we WATCHED IT HAPPEN. The conspiracy crowd is busy with cryptocurrency and sovcit diversions.

Huh, weird that more than one person has thought that. Thanks for the correction!

Emperor’s New Groove was DreamWorks.

Next year? I bet Boeing can push that thing out in 3 months if they really want to AND get executive bonuses for being early.

We went from Macs being “immune” to malware to Macs being infested with it to this. Walled gardens have their benefits, but flexibility and choice aren’t among them.

There’s an open source audio tool I wanted to use, but the unsigned executable got bounced. It turns out I’d been fooled into downloading a malware-infested version of it. In that single case I appreciated it.